Help, what now? Unexpected situations and me

 As a family, we lived abroad for many years.
Almost every week, small things went differently than what we were used to in the Netherlands.
And now, of course, the same happens in Madrid.

Last week was one of those days when everything went differently.
In the Netherlands.
It was snowing, the roads were slippery, and we were supposed to fly back to Madrid.

The good news: our flight was still going.
The bad news: the taxi had been booked for the wrong day and no trains to the airport.

How would you react?

You could:
✓ Get very angry with your partner because they arranged it incorrectly
✓ Feel very sad and freeze because you don’t know what to do
✓ Go straight into problem-solving mode and look for solutions
✓ Go back to bed and pretend nothing is happening

There has been an incredible amount of research into how people respond to unexpected stress.
You know the familiar responses: fight, flight, or freeze.

Do you know what I find most interesting?
Your first reaction is simply your first reaction — and there’s often very little you can do about it.
We all had our parents as examples, and the way they responded is often something we unconsciously copy.

Still, I truly believe that we can adapt.

What helps most is a supportive partner — someone you trust and who stands by you.
But above all: self-knowledge.
And the willingness to look for solutions, to think — and dare to think — outside the box.

That can be difficult, because when everything is usually well organised, you often live on autopilot.

So, step off that autopilot once in a while.
Take a different route to work.
Walk the dog in a different direction.
Eat dessert first and the main course after.
Let your children run through the sprinkler instead of putting them in the bath.
Smile at a stranger.
Start a conversation with someone you don’t know on the train.

Within our family, how do we usually deal with unexpected situations?

We almost always choose problem-solving mode: how can we fix this?

We don’t scream or shout when things go wrong.
We handle what can be handled.
And afterwards, we’re able to laugh at ourselves: how silly, how clumsy, how awkward — you name it.

That does mean you need to be able to handle a bit of teasing, because we’ll probably remind you of it from time to time — but only within the family.
Our starting point is always that no one does these things on purpose.

So how did we solve it last week?

We drove our own car to Schiphol and parked it there.
Luckily, our eldest was willing to pick it up later that afternoon.
Otherwise, long-term parking would have been an option too.