Why Love Sometimes Feels So Complicated

In Conversations with God, Neale Donald Walsch speaks about living from fear or from love.

His books have shaped much of my own understanding, so I’d like to share a thought that has stayed with me.

Last time, I wrote about living from fear — and how much of our behaviour is actually an attempt to feel safe.

But if that is fear… what is love?

According to Walsch, there is only love or fear.

Love, as he describes it, isn’t a feeling.
It isn’t romance.
It isn’t about being nice.

Love is the state your nervous system recognises as:

I am safe — even when I remain myself.

And in everyday life, that can look surprisingly simple.

It might be:

• saying no, without explanation

• taking a break, without guilt

• moving at your own pace

• not reacting to someone else’s tension

• taking your body seriously when it’s tired

Not because you are selfish.
Not because you are strong.

But because your inner system is calm.
Because you no longer have to survive by adapting.

That’s why this often feels unfamiliar.

Like a small child who climbs onto a parent’s lap — or hides behind their legs — and from there calmly observes the world before going out to explore again.

They’ve received the signal:

You are safe.

Many of us have learned that safety lives outside of us —
in keeping the peace,
in receiving approval,
in being needed.

So when safety begins to live within us instead, it can feel almost alien.

As if you’re doing something wrong.
As if you’re disappointing someone.

But something very different is happening.

When your nervous system feels safe, you no longer have to adapt.

It becomes a quiet state of safety within yourself.

And that…
is living from love.

It may be time to listen to yourself.