Why Real Change Takes Time

Sometimes I find myself scrolling a bit. Just passing time.

And then I see all kinds of things come by. Videos. Reels. Exercises.

About breathing, energy, breaking patterns. About how you can feel better, solve problems with a simple exercise.

And you know… honestly, often it’s true.

That might actually be what makes it complicated.

Because what is shared on social media isn’t necessarily untrue.
On the contrary, many of these techniques do work.
They can help you feel something or set something in motion.

But at the same time, I notice that I feel something else as well: a kind of mixture of unease and appreciation.

Because after all these years, I know that real change rarely happens quickly.
And I have been working in my practice for about 26 years now, with hundreds of different people.

What you’ve built doesn’t disappear in a few days

The patterns you have now, the ways you respond, the protective mechanisms you once developed, didn’t just appear out of nowhere.

They came into existence because you needed them. Because, in some way, they helped you.

And precisely for that reason, they don’t simply disappear after watching one video or following a short course of a few days.

Yes, you can gain insights.
And those insights can be valuable.

But insight is not the same as change.

Real change takes time.
Attention.
Repetition.
And above all, the willingness to truly feel what is there.

Why quick solutions feel so appealing

What I notice is that with some of these messages there is something else underneath. A subtle message.

That you’re not there yet.
That you’re not good enough.
That you’re missing something.
That it could be better, faster, more beautiful.

And before you know it, you start thinking:

if I just stick to this for a month…
then I will feel better
then my relationship will change
then I will finally be “good enough”

But that’s not how it works.

Really, it isn’t.

It’s a bit like your body. If you break your leg, it needs time to heal. You can’t put a quick fix on that.

And the same is true for your emotions, your thoughts, your history.

It’s not better or worse, it’s simply different now

What I also see, and what I actually really appreciate, is that there is so much more openness now.

When I started, back in the late 90s, terms like energy, chakras, and breathwork were vague to most people. Or seen as very “out there.”

Now, it’s almost normal. There is more available. More knowledge. More possibilities.

And honestly… that is a good thing.

Because there are so many Millennials and Gen Z’s who can feel so quickly, who are so open, that they take steps my generation needed much more time for. There are fewer barriers and more awareness. And that is truly wonderful to see.

How to know what truly works for you

There is simply so much more out there now. More voices. More claims. And also more “experts.”

And that’s where it can become complicated.

Because how do you still know what is true for you?

How do you still feel what is right?

Especially when there are also commercial interests involved…

When things look beautiful, sound convincing…
but you don’t really know what’s underneath or behind it.

That’s when separating the genuine from the superficial becomes much harder.

Real change asks something different from you

Not that you should stop searching.
Not that everything you see online is wrong.

But this:

Keep feeling for yourself.

Take your time.
Allow yourself the process.
And don’t expect something that runs deep to suddenly resolve itself just because it is beautifully packaged.

Real change can be slow. It can be messy. It can take time, and it almost never moves in a straight line. And that is often exactly where the real transformation lives.

Why I continue to share this work?

Sometimes I wonder:

maybe I should just step out of this.
Stop being on social media.
Stop using my voice here.
Stop writing the Snippets.

But then I think…

if I can help even one person
feel a little more balanced,
understand a little more why they repeat certain patterns,
be a little more themselves,
feel a bit more confident,
or simply feel heard…

then it is already worth it.

And maybe that person is you.