That nasty little habit...

That nasty habit  already understands what you're only just beginning to grasp.

There I am, standing in the kitchen. 'Suddenly' with that piece of chocolate in my hand.
Finally, not just one piece... but the whole bar.

Recognize that? It feels like a little moment of indulgence.

But if I'm honest, there's often something underneath.
Too tired. Too much done. Or a vague kind of restlessness.

As if my system is saying: "Just this little bite... then I'll feel safe again."

What I've discovered over the years is that such habits—whether it's chocolate, wanting to please people, wanting to do everything perfectly, or withdrawing—are often not "bad qualities."

They're clever survival strategies. Protective mechanisms that were once incredibly useful.

Your nervous system has one main goal: keeping you safe.

Not to make you happy, but safe. And when you had little control—as a child, for example—your body found all sorts of ways to deal with tension, rejection, or threat.

• Perfectionism may have helped you avoid criticism.
• Always caring for others could have been a way to hold on to love.
• And yes, eating something sweet can bring peace when life feels overwhelming.

Only when you begin to realize this—that those "difficult habits" are actually disguised guardian angels—can you be kinder to yourself.

Then you no longer have to fight them, but perhaps you can thank them for what they've done for you.

And thus, perhaps you can slowly and calmly explore new forms of safety.

In short:

• Not: "How do I get rid of this?"
• But: "What is this habit trying to tell me?"

Sounds simple, but it often isn't.

Need help with that? You're always welcome!