The Fire You Can’t See

Recently, there was a huge peat fire in the south of the Netherlands. It reminded me of a session I once had with a woman who described her own simmering anger as a peat fire.

A peat fire is different from an ordinary fire.
On the surface, you may hardly see anything happening. No flames, barely any smoke.
You might even think the fire has gone out.

But underground, it can continue to smoulder for a very long time.

I often think it can work the same way with us.

You deal with what you can see on the surface. You solve the problem, get through a difficult time, have that conversation, take a few weeks off, change jobs, or promise yourself that next time you’ll do things differently.

And you feel better again.

But sometimes there is still that undercurrent.

A belief you’ve carried for years. A pattern of constantly adjusting yourself to others. An old fear. The need to prove yourself. Or a feeling you’ve never really allowed yourself to feel.

In everyday life, you may not notice it that much, but underneath the surface, it is still smouldering.

Until something happens.

A comment from someone. A situation at work. A conflict with your partner. Too many things being asked of you at the same time.

And suddenly, the fire flares up again.

Often, you then focus on the thing, or the person, that caused the fire to flare up. We try to put out all the flames we can see.

But perhaps it’s about something else entirely:

What has been smouldering beneath the surface for much longer?

Because sometimes it is more than enough to look at what is happening on the surface.
And sometimes you need to look underneath.

And if you recognise that something beneath the surface is asking for your attention, we can look at it together.

You know: you are welcome.